Whats Next? I Have Absolutely No Idea
by avatar-lover-07
Summary: Harry's Point of view after The Second Wizarding War. Open to Reviews.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

I opened my eyes, my eye lids as heavy as cement. The soft glare that flowed through the room hurts my eyes, forcing them closed once again. My body aches. As I lifted myself off the soft and safe haven of the familiar 4 poster bed I could hear my bones creak in agony. I screw my eyes up in pain and frustration, I feel like an old man. Why does it feel like this? Then memories from before I closed my eyes flood into my mind. The war, Voldemort, Remus, Tonks, Fred. Suddenly my head hurts.

I lay back down, wondering if the soft sheets would sallow me whole, so I would not have to face the outside world. But to no avail. Its then I realize how dirty I am. Covered in dirt, blood, slim and sweat. I assume I haven't change clothes in days. I finally, with great difficulty find the energy lift myself from the bed, , and move towards the bathroom, I subconsciously take in my surroundings. I'm alone. The other beds perfectly made, unslept in, gratefulness fills me, at least I won't have to face them… yet. I reach the bathroom door, and realize I have no other clothes. Damn. Wait… Kreacher. Not seconds after his name leaves my lips, he's there. Seconds later he paces stack of fresh clean clothes in my hand before heading back to the kitchens. I open the door, peel the dirty clothes off my body, step into the shower and turn the water on. 

I don't know how long I stand under the hot water, before I start to scrub. I try and think back to the last time I had a decent shower and I can't. It seems like years ago, but really it was probably about 8 months. 8 months on the run. 8 months of danger. 8 months. And now it's over. Recovery of the war had probably already begun outside. The rebuilding of the castle, reuniting families and the goodbyes… to the ones who have fallen.

I squeeze my eyes close in frustration and try to think of anything else. I wonder what they have done with Voldemort's body. I wonder what they did with Remus, Tonks and Fred's… No, anything else. I wonder how many hours I been asleep. Yeah me sleeping for hours on end while other people morn for the loved ones, which are all dead because of you. I punch the wall in frustration.

I figure I have been in the shower to long when my hands start to prune. So I pull myself out of the shower and put the fresh clothes on. It feels quite weird. Fresh clothes. After so long of wearing damp and cold clothes while on the run, I'd almost forgotten about warm, fresh clothes. I quickly look away from my reflection not wanting to look at myself right now and make my way back to the room, and stand in the middle for who know how long. I'm not sure what to do. What can I do? What should I do? I never though past the war. I always thought I'd be dead if it ended.

I realized then, I have absolutely no idea what to do.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

There's no Voldemort to fight, no threat of death that has haunted me since Voldemort's return, heck there's isnt even 5 inch potions essay that I need to quickly finish. I never had nothing to do. And it unnerves me.

_Maybe I should go and talk to McGonagall, figure out what's going on. Yes that's what I need to do. Figure out what comes next_. But my legs won't move. _I can't go and face them, their probably morning, crying, tired, and here I am clean, well and alive. What must they think of me? It's because of me that their families are torn and broken. I can't. _Suddenly all I want is to crawl back into the bed and never come out. _Maybe I should pay my respects? _

No, that would just make them feel worse. _Maybe the Kitchens, I could help them make the meal and stay away from the familiar and unfamiliar faces, yes, that's it. I'll stay out of the way, not let my face be a reminder of the ones they have lost because of me. _

I grab my pouch that Hagrid gave me, put it around my neck and pulled on my invisibility cloak on. I open the door, but stop at the stairs; I wait to see if there are any voices. But there aren't, for which I am relieved. I reach the bottom of the stairs, and what I find makes me stop dead. At least 20 pullout beds placed all around the common room, soft snores and grunts fill the otherwise quiet room and suddenly the gratefulness for an unaccompanied bedroom turns to regret. People who fought harder than I are asleep on old pullout beds while I had a whole room to myself, suddenly I feel sick.

I hurry out of the common room and make a run for the kitchens I am vaguely aware of the fat lady's confused complains but I don't really care; I just want to put as much distance between me and that common room. I soon start walking, and its then I realize it must be very late or very early as I pass no one. Even the paintings are asleep, for which I am grateful for.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Soon I'm at the painting of a fruit bowl. I tickle pear and the entrance swings open. From here I can hear the clatter of pots, pans and the small yet high unmistakable voices of the house elves. I automatically think of dobby, and how happy he would be now that the war was over. I quickly think of anything else. _I wonder if their preparing breakfast._ I start to walk in and all of the noise stops and I find all of their big eyes on me. _Maybe I shouldn't have come. _Then the applause starts. Each elf voice praises me, thanks me, and small little elf hands are reaching out trying touching me._ Great_.

"Please, stop, stop!" I start; everyone stops "Please really, I'm just here to help you make breakfast, or dinner or whatever"

"Oh, Master" Kreachers voice croaks "There is no need for you to help; you must rest after fighting hard and winning the war"

Now I really feel sick "I want to help, there are others who fought way harder than me in the war, I need to repay them, honestly they finished the war, not me" I wasn't being humble, I knew that without each and every one of those who fought in the war: the witches, wizard, giants, elves and all creatures, the war would still be going on "Anyway, you guys fought exceptionally hard in the war as well don't forget, I reckon you could use a little help" God after years of being friends with Hermione, I'm starting to sound like her.

"Really, Harry Potter, you must rest" Winky Squeaked.

"No, I'm helping" I made my voice strong "and it's just Harry" I added softly. Each elf nodded "So what can I do?"

I'm pulled over to the chopping station and start cutting up some fruit while I chat to some of the elves. Soon I find them recounting their adventures from the last few months, some even make me laugh, one of the elves, Donny, put vinegar in the Carrows food every day, said it match there sour personality. They told me all about the Hogwarts and what was happened on the outside world while I was away. I find it pretty fascinating and the first time since I woke up, I don't mind talking or thinking about the war with them.

Soon breakfast is ready and it's nearly 7am, I have no idea how long I been down here, but nor do I care. But I know I won't be able to hide down here for much longer, soon I will have to face the outside world, but maybe just maybe, I can hold it off for a few more hours.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

After all the food had disappeared all the house elves sat down at a table in the corner and started to eat. _Mmm, well it's a choice between upstairs or here… _

I sit down on a spare seat opposite Winky, I see her mouth quiver as if she was about to say something, but she decided against it, so I send her a small smile before starting up a conversation with Donny. 

An hour later I finish eating an offer to do the dishes with them; however they forcibly push me out the door saying I had done too much. Great. Kicked out of the Kitchens.

I bite back a yawn. Bed is starting to sound very inviting. So I pull on my invisibility cloak and start to trudge back to the common room. Everyone must be up as I can hear the loud chatter from the great hall echoing though-out the castle. 

Soon I'm at the Fat Lady, and I realize I have no idea what the password it. I pull off the cloak startling the Fat Lady.

"Um, I have no idea… sorry" I mumble lamely.

"YOU don't need a password dearie, you saved us" The Fat lady chuckled "you, password.. HA!"

"Ar well ar.. thanks, I guess"

"You know everyone's looking for you, worried they are" She says sympathetically

"Well ar… um" I decide the best thing to do if fake a yawn.

"Don't worry, you go up to bed, and I'll tell them your fine" she says "in ya go"

I thank her and walk though, pulling the cloak on as I go. I make my way back up the stairs, which seem years long. Its then I realized how sore I am. My legs are now aching; my back and neck are burning. I look down my arms and notice how many scratches and bruise there are along them. My left elbow is fully purple.

Now I can hear the soft and warm bed calling for me.

I finally, after what seems like hours (which with my slow pace and constant stopping) probably was, I reach the door. I decide to take a quick shower, where I notice my more prominent bruises. My stomach, knee, hip, chest and shoulder are all blue and black, with scratches everywhere else. I groan in pain as I clean the more infected ones, before stepping out. 

Soon I in my pajamas and lying in the soft, welcoming sheets, I take off my glasses and place them next to my pouch and cloak and am instantly asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

My eyes flutter open, much easier than the last time I woke up. I start to take in my surroundings. Not much had changed. I'm still alone. There is however a chair, with some fresh clothes hanging off the side. I slowly get up (the ache is still there) and reach blindly for my glasses. The chair and clothes become more pronounce and I relies that the sweatshirt hanging off the chair was the same one I wore when Sirius was murdered. I feel much chest clench.

I decide to waste more time by taking a shower. I am forced to clean my infected cuts again when puss and blood starts oozing out of them. It's much more painful than last time. But I bit my tongue and welcome the pain. Soon I'm out of the shower dressed and standing in the middle of the room again, wondering what I should do. _Should I go and see Ron and Hermione? Give my condolences to the Weasleys? What are you stupid! You can't face them! You survived while one of their own died! _I try to imagine what George is feeling. But I can't even start to comprehend what it much be like to lose your other half. Fred and George, George and Fred. You could have one without the other, and yet the cruel world split them apart. Bastard.

The Weasleys, the most caring family in the world, who had taken me in as their own, who had stuck by me, and who fought with me, now had paid the ultimate price. Anyone who I ever get close to always pays the ultimate price. The Weasleys, Sirius, Dumbledore, Credic…

I pull on my cloak and step out the door, while deciding I will go and see McGonagall. I reach the bottom of the stair and notice all the beds are empty. I make my way out the portrait and head toward the headmasters… no headmistress's office. I see no one while I make my way slowly towards the office only a few ghosts making their way to the Great Hall chatting about the end of the war. But as soon as I heard war, I zone out. Not ready.

I reach the gargoyle out-front of the office, fixed and new. I then remember I'll need a password. I stripped the cloak and face the gargoyle.

"I suppose you have changed the password since 2 years ago?"

"Yes, I have,"

"Well, um, can I get a hint," I ask lamely, I mentally smack myself.

"I'll let you up, only because I know the headmistress wants to see you," he then jumps out of the way. I thank him and then slowly make my way up the stairs.

When I reach the door I can hear voices talking. McGonagall… Ron… Hermione… Ginny, Dean I think, Seamus… and Neville. Great. I lean closer to the door to try to listen closer when a dreamy voice startles me.

"Harry?"

I jump and she jumps, "Luna, you scared me…,"

"Are you alright, bit jumpy, no worries though, probably just the nargles..."

"Right…"

"What are you doing out here?"

"Um… I... ar…," Suddenly the door in which I was leaning on flies open and I tumble in falling to the fall. Ouch. I hear a few stifled laughs and snorts behind me, but ignore them. Really I'm not in the mood for company. Now all I'm wishing is that I never woke up.


End file.
